Crap food on Qantas flights

It's really just getting ridiculous how bad the food is on short sector Qantas flights. Namely Sydney-Hobart, Melbourne-Canberra. Just awful. It's all epitomised by the "Chicken panini". It is a hideous fat bread concoction "filled" with "chicken" in a "dijonnaise" sauce thing. Little cubes of "chicken" in this icky sauce, a few limp pieces of carrot or other vegetable type ingredient, and there's your meal! If you're lucky, you get a cube of Cadbury chocolate. Does Qantas seriously think these "meals" are a selling point for them? Is this what they call "full service"? Long live the days when you would take Ansett and be presented with a steaming hot, foil-covered meal that you peeled back to be met with a woosh of vapour smelling of little boiled potatoes, some kind of meat, and a tasty sauce.

So anyway, back to the paninis, they are crap. I don't have a problem with sandiwches per se. But when the bread is too thick and dry and tasteless, and the contents are smoodgy and icky and limp they are no fun at all.

And another thing. These horrible paninis, or as my one the other day was called "French Connection" (France should sue), have ridiculous lists of ingredients. This was a ham, brie and lettuce one. The ham wasn't bad. The brie was a bit tasteless, but hey, at least it's brie. Lettuce consisted of three stalks of limp baby spinach. So the ingredients should be bread, ham, brie and lettuce. Check out the actual list of ingredients:

• Sandwich pain de mie (white flour (wheat flour, thiamin), water, butter, milk, sugar, yeast, salt, soy flour, emulsifier 472e, amylase, stabilizer 412, flour treatment agent 300, sesame seeds)
• honey ham (soy protein, food acid 325, honey, maltodextrin, vegetable gum 407, mineral salts 451,452, antioxidant 316, flavour enhancer 637, sodium nitrate 250
• brie
• lettuce

What the hell was wrong with the flour in the first place such that it needed a flour treatment agent? And why was it unstable? And why did it need soy flour in it? And sugar? And thiamin? I take a multivitamin, I don't need an airline to further dose me up.

Why is there soy protein in ham, and maltodextrin, and frigging sodium nitrate? That's a well known allergen. Then you've got some kind of relative of MSG to enhance the flavour...how about using a decent tasting ham in the first place.

And then they go and call this French!

Oh, and another thing, on a bloody Dash 8 they manage to serve way better food (well, snacks) than on the mainline Qantas jet services. Launceston-Melbourne service, we got crackers with a very tasty sundried tomato dip, King Island Camembert, drinkable red wine, and an after dinner chocolate mint!

Bogans in a park

There are some bogans in a park across the road from my house. They've set up on a park bench with a box full of beer and are yelling such things as "fuck you then" and they are throwing sticks at each other.

Why aren't they at their homes watching Australia's Got Talent?

Would you like something to suck on?

The UK has said "let's regress 10 years and send this bunch in to Eurovision 2007!" Admittedly they've got uniforms (they're a bit "Deeper Shade of Blue" though aren't they), and it' much better live than in the studio. To use a Fop term, "as a general proposition Schooch are to be supported"

Måns Zelmerlöw Fever

Canberra, or more precisely, PopGoesCanberra headquarters, is in Måns Zelmerlöw fever. In case you don't know (where have you been?), Måns came 5th in Swedish Idol and won Swedish Dancing with the Stars and has just come third in the final of Melodifestivalen 2007 with the AMAZING song Cara Mia. I have no idea what Cara Mia means, but it has appropriate lyrics like:

"Oh Cara Cara Mia/Cara Cara Mia/Love is all we need/I swear I'm never gonna leave you/Cara Cara Mia you're the one for me/when someone loves like I do/dreams can come true/so tell me tell me now/oh cara cara mia/how can you leave me now"

It's all just amazing and to top it off, Måns is incredibly good looking (in a fairly ordinary but a bit posh kind of way). You can see the official music video and the performance from Melodifestivalen below.

The song/music video features an old fashioned phone (fuzzy sounding bit!) gregorian chants, storming chorus, huge key change, a bit at the end that seems totally out of the place from the rest of the video, nice salsa-like dancing, fuzzy over the top clubby dancing, and a big pull the chick close to your chest so her boobs look hot bit!



And the Melodifestivalen performance has big Nanne Gronvall style fans and Nanne Gronvall style dancers!



NOTE that the crowd goes wild at the exact right spot, the big clappy bit! AND they have big balloons! And there is lots of smoke! And he dances in a very stilted but horny way! I could go on forever....

And to top it off, Måns likes planes, because he says in an interview that before Idol, "I thought i was going to be a pilot"!!!!

Dream (but realistic) Australia Day Live Concert

Live from the lawns of Australia's Parliament House!

Hosted by Andrew G and Gretel Killeen!

With Sandra Sully and new Neighbours star Sam Clark on roaming mics!


Warm up act: Sonya (Shirley Clamp's best friend) & buff dancers

Warmer act: Candee Jay
(including special "duet" of If I Were You with Young Divas)

Hot act: Martin Stenmarck
(Canberra has forgiven him for what he did to Nanne)

Stupendous act: t.A.T.u.

Setlist

1. All About Us (with special guests The Veronicas)
   
2. Loves Me Not
3. Stars
4. Ya Soshla S Ama
5. Outer Space (as Comet McNaught flies over Red Hill)
6. Not Gonna Get Us (with special guest the goth from Australian Princess)
   

Enjoy.

Things I love #1

Swedish people:

Such energy!

Always nice hair and clothes (though not sure about the tie)!

Things I hate #1

• The sound of car brakes in underground car parks
• Walking up dodgy grungey staircases in underground car parks
• When old blokes position themselves and their bench less than a foot away from the little dumbell stand at the gym so that you have to squeeze past them all the time
  

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

Just went and saw this. It's awesome. Smelly. Beautiful. Ben Whishaw is a beautiful actor. Beautiful. This is him smelling a chick he then kills. It's all just wonderful (except the killing).

Cheesy Italian Crime Show on SBS this summer

It's called Don Matteo and I've seen the first three episodes and it's just WONDERFUL. The lead character is a Catholic priest who is blonde and rides a bike and wears a funny hat and fancies himself as a bit of a policeman WITHOUT FORGETTING HIS PRIESTLY DUTIES and he's played by a guy called TERENCE HILL which doesn't sound very Italian BUT SPEAKS GOOD ITALIAN (though what would I know) and there is a "Capitano" who is the police captain and there is a "bumbling" Seargent who wishes he could get promoted but he can't because he's "bumbling" and there is a good looking young cop who doesn't get much of a look-in and there is a female MAYOR who is the Capitano's possible love interest, if this weren't a PG rated show (Mild violence) and she is quite "bumbling" too because she isn't very good at driving cars, and it's all set in a BEAUTIFUL little Italian village where lots of crime happens oh and the policemen always go and ask Don Matteo for help and he has this woman living with him who I don't think it's wife because he's a priest but she's very "nervy" and bakes a lot!

Whew!

It's like Blue Heelers, but ENTERTAINING and NOT AUSTRALIAN and NOT DODGY and GLAMOUROUS in a GOOD WAY.

It's all a great lead-in to an Adults-Only episode of Inspector Rex. The other day it was about this horrible sexual predator who had it in for Rex and wanted to kill him, but in the end, Rex got him! :)

Meanwhile, listen to this! (Real player streaming audio) It's a song I've just noticed in the Swedish charts called "Forget me forget me not". It's quite good. (But nothing to do with Don Matteo)

http://www.sr.se/cgi-bin/p3/topplistor/createsmil.asp?plac=36

Lazy ARIA Top 50 round-up

1 NIGHT OF MY LIFE Damien Leith
It works I suppose. But it's not very EXCITING is it.

2 DON'T GIVE UP Shannon Noll & Natalie Bassingthwaighte
Well it's nice that it's about reducing suicide and STUFF but I think Natalie puts on a bit of a silly voice. Or is that just how she sounds when she sings slow songs?

3 SMACK THAT Akon Feat. Eminem
I'm assuming this is awful.

4 WIND IT UP Gwen Stefani
Well the goat bit is good but the rest is a bit unlistenable.

5 IRREPLACEABLE Beyonc
The "to the left" rubbish drives me NUTS!

6 I WISH I WAS A PUNK ROCKER (WITH FLOWERS IN MY HAIR) Sandi Thom
Who is still buying this?

7 MY LOVE Justin Timberlake Feat. T.I.
Toes in the sand. It's great.

8 I DON'T FEEL LIKE DANCIN' Scissor Sisters
Amusingly popular. I never liked it much to begin with, and still don't.

9 FERGALICIOUS Fergie
What rubbish.

10 SAY IT RIGHT Nelly Furtado
Lovely, just lovely. So pretty.

11 ELEVATOR LOVE Guy Sebastian
You know what I think about this.

12 LIGHT SURROUNDING YOU Evermore
Pretty, very pretty. Not as pretty as Nelly though.

13 TOO LITTLE TOO LATE JoJo
What generic rubbish. Just AWFUL.

14 HAPPENIN' ALL OVER AGAIN Young Divas
Good on you, you "middling foursome" (Sun Herald quote)

15 I DON'T NEED A MAN The Pussycat Dolls
Well it's not that bad is it? It's not Steps though.

16 U + UR HAND P!nk
It's about masturbation. That is a good thing, surely.

17 HURT Christina Aguilera
She's disappointing these days.

18 ROCK THIS PARTY (EVERYBODY DANCE NOW) Bob Sinclar
What a load of codswollop.

19 FUNKY TONIGHT John Butler Trio
Oh Gosh, I forgot these guys when I did my "scourge on pop music" post.

20 WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE My Chemical Romance
Assuming it's awful.

21 WE RIDE Rihanna
Assuming it's awful.

22 PAC'S LIFE 2Pac Feat. T.I. And Ashanti
Ashanti! Is she still around? Definitely awful.

23 JOKER & THE THIEF Wolfmother
Definitely awful.

24 CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE SOBER Evanescence
Disappointingly awful. Their first album's singles were so good and ideal for belting while cruising up Bermuda Street and this is just....unlistenable.

25 SEXYBACK Justin Timberlake
It is.

26 PUT YOUR HANDS UP FOR DETROIT Fedde Le Grand
Pretty sure it's awful.

27 Eskimo Joe
Not that bad actually.

28 COME TO ME P. Diddy Feat. Nicole Scherzinger
Awful.

29 WHAT IF I'M RIGHT Sandi Thom
Unsure.

30 MANEATER Nelly Furtado
Quite perfect really.

31 TIGHTROPE Stephanie McIntosh
Nice synths. And bosom.

32 LAST CHRISTMAS (WITH FROG) Crazy Frog
Reserving judgment. But I do not dislike the Crazy Frog phenomenon. The power could be chanelled in other directions though.

33 LEAVE ME ALONE The Veronicas
Pretty harmonies.

34 LONELY Shannon Noll
Wonderful for doing the shopping to.

35 LOVELIGHT Robbie Williams
I just don't get it. Nothing special for me.

36 THE KILL (BURY ME) 30 Seconds To Mars
Oooh aren't we popular now. I can see the appeal, I don't like it though.

37 ME & U Cassie
Who is Cassie?

38 LIVE FOR LOVE Anthony Callea
Go to SWEDEN, not ITALY, Anthony!

39 SNOW ((HEY OH)) Red Hot Chili Peppers
Definitely awful.

40 PICTURES Sneaky Sound System
Quite good really. I like their sound.

41 LONDON BRIDGE Fergie
Yeah whatever.

42 WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG The Killers
Unlistenable.

43 TALLER, STRONGER, BETTER Guy Sebastian
Unlistenable.

44 YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING James Morrison
Mediocre.

45 IF EVERYONE CARED Nickelback
They make me want to slit my wrists (not really).

46 LOVE LIKE WINTER AFI
Australian Film Industry? WTF?

47 BUTTONS The Pussycat Dolls feat. Snoop Dogg
I preferred the Bleep one.

48 BUT IT'S BETTER IF YOU DO Panic! At The Disco
Reserving judgment.

49 UNFAITHFUL Rihanna
God, who is buying this. It's just AWFUL. Strangled cat.

50 THE SAINTS ARE COMING U2 & Green Day
Awful.

Not as bad as when we did this a few months ago really!