Le voisin qui vient de l'enfer

Imagine being so afraid of your neighbour that you run to the bathroom at the slightest sound of the jangle of a key, or, God forbid, a ring of the bell or a knock at the door. The excuse "I'm in the shower, I'm in the shower" goes through your head a thousand times as you turn on the cold water and wipe wipe wipe wipe down the tiles.



This is the life that PopGoesCanberra is living. He's not a bad neighbour.



Not "bad" in the sense that he means well.

But if you open that door,



Then he will talk and talk and talk and talk. About how hard he works, about his car, about bloody everything. And he'll give you candy and chips. Beware.



After the incident this morning, I only found comfort when I sat on the toilet and did a big poo while listening to Natalie Imbruglia's latest album, Counting Down the Days.

What's Hot in Canberra

1. Elize Automatic

Elize

A huge Dutch track that is blowing PopGoesCanberra's mind. It's so in your face. It's like Dannii Minogue meets some crazy Dutch chick. With great lyrics at the end of the pumping chorus like "I'm talking to you/she'll make a slave out of you/but you can't help it boy so it's OK".

2. Infernal From Paris to Berlin

A huge Danish track that is blowing PopGoesCanberra's mind. It's so in your face. It's like Dannii Minogue meets some crazy Danish chick and hot Danish guy. With great lyrics in the pumping chorus, that even features the word "pumping" like "From Paris to Berlin/In Every Disco I get in/My heart is pumping for love/pumping for love". It name checks two hot Euro cities and sounds totally Euro. No wonder 105.7 Radio Metro on the Gold Coast and Nova 96.9 in Sydney can't stop playing it.

InfernalInfernal

3. Verve at Manuka

Great coffee. Pleasantly snobby, including champagne-quaffing "doctor's wives" who have blonde hair and flirt with waiters in their late 20s. It's almost like we're on Tedder Avenue, Main Beach on the Gold Coast! Very good-looking staff. Beautiful toilets. Only downpoints? The shades are sometimes down when it's sunny, and there is a tap in the men's toilets that doesn't turn off properly. What a terrible waste of water.

4. Canberra Autumn Leaves

The weather has been perfect, and the leaves are red. They fall onto the ground and one can crunch them under the leaves and play like a child. How lovely.

5. Seven's Amazing Thursday My Restaurant Rules, Lost and The Amazing Race

Who could have even imagined Thursdays in 2005 could be this good for television?

PopGoesCanberra *hearts* Evan and Bella

Evan and Bella

and we have a soft spot for Fracesca at Louvre because she can sing and has funny glasses!

Francesca

and we are NOT a fan of "The Sweat" from the West. Would it be cruel to say "stick some deodorant on your forehead!" Yes it would, but we'll say it anyway. PopGoesCanberra does NOT work at DFAT, therefore we are not diplomatic like some.

The Sweat

and we miss Deb :(

Deb

We think Kris and Jon are nice nice nice. And we are very jealous of how Jon's hair always looks good even when has a silly visor on and whether he is the wilds of Ethiopia, downtown Shanghai, the total and utter class of Stockholm's Gamla Stan or the tundra of Iceland. And if we were female we would be very jealous Kris' beautiful breasts.

Kris and Jon

We think Freddie and Kendra are not particularly attractive and not particularly nice.

Freddie and Kendra

We miss Lori and "Bow-low"

Lori and Bolo

Bodies Without Organs hits Canberra

Wednesday 6 April 2005 signalled the arrival of Bodies Without Organs' debut album Prototype in Pop Goes Canberra's mailbox. Wowee.

Bodies Without Organs

Initial comments?

Pop Goes Canberra, and consequently the Australian Capital Territory as a whole desperately needs this Swedish electro-pop music. The album kicks off with the marvellous ABBA-referencing Sixteen Tons of Hardware. The highlight is of course the amazing Conquering America, the video of which we have all seen. It features bodily parts in jars, blood, and sexy mobile phones and hip thrusting on couches and weird little shorts. Great album tracks include Voodoo Magic and Sunshine in the Rain. This album will grow on me I think, though it already is brilliant. Let the strains of Bodies Without Organs ring over Lake Burley Griffin and beyond.

Roads review: Canberra

Pros of Roads in Canberra:

- They are nice and wide
- They are pleasantly tree-lined and that is great at the moment because it is autumn and the leaves are turning red and blowing on the road and making pleasant crunchy noises when one drives/rides/steps on them

Autumn Trees

Cons of Roads in Canberra:

- The drivers. What utter wankers. The roads being nice and wide, and fairly quiet too, they just tear round corners, not thinking that there might be pedestrians around the corner.
- The traffic lights. They don't seem to have those little pressure pads under the road so that you sit there in your car and have to wait and wait and wait for them to change. I have a life to lead you bastards.
- The lighting. There is none. And I have a story. Tonight I was riding my bike near Deakin when I was obeying the road rules apart from the fact that it was pitch dark and I don't have a light on my bike. I almost ran into a guy in a ute/a guy in a ute almost ran into me (kinda) and he screamed out the window "Dickhead! Get a light, Fuckwit!"

Ute

Wasn't that charming? I hate it when people tell me things I already know. I am a dickhead for not having a light on my bike. But if I could afford a light, I would have a decent bike. Rather than something that looks like what Emma Bunton would ride on her album cover if her stylist said "Get her on a bike! A blue one, rather than a pink one as you might expect."

Emma Bunton

Or I might even get a car. In any case, I'm a dickhead, but I wouldn't go as far as fuckwit. In any case, you have no idea what my personal circumstances are. My mother could be on her death bed and I was riding my only available transport to her house to say goodbye. Yeah, fuck you. I wasn't, but it could have been! I'd rather not of course. But it could have been! Then how would you have felt, angry man in ute!?