Rant rant rant: vintage cars and the Top 50

First of all, vintage cars SUCK. Yes they really do. I was trying to get home from the south coast yesterday in a decent amount of time, no intention of speeding, just a safe speed slightly under the limit to save petrol. There was this really annoying non-descript truck (with a concealed number plate I might add) that went at a decent speed on a straight flat bits, then crawled up hills. There were about twenty cars behind it, mine being one of them. So, to replicate the success of a short-cut I had taken coming down on Thursday, I zipped off through a side-street in Braidwood.

BAD MOVE!

Worse short-cut ever!

I, along with several others who decided to follow, got stuck behind a horse and carriage! Hello! Why the HELL would you go on a horse and carriage in BRAIDWOOD???? Why? We have cars! It'll spoil the experience for you when you really want to go on a horse and carriage in Vienna (home of Inspector Rex), Salzburg, or somewhere equally romantic and Austrian, when you are pining for some clop clop on cobblestones.

To make it worse, being stuck behind the horse and carriage gave time for a whole FLEET of VINTAGE CARS to pull out onto the single-lane highway between Braidwood and Canberra. What is WRONG with these people? These cars are DANGEROUS. Go and drive on your own roads!!! What if I was trying to ge to the airport on time? What if I had a woman in labour in my car? You get in the way and people are already driving like nutcases on Easter Sunday and here you are, getting in the way in your little "hobbies." You might say I like vintage cars, you like Swedish pop music, each to their own. Well no, it doesn't work like that, because your hobby annoys thousands of other road users. Mine doesn't, I have the windows shut, thank you very much.

Now for the Top 50. I've decided to class the current ARIA singles chart into "Shit", "Not quite as shit" and "Not really very shit at all" categories. Just for fun.

SHIT

FOREVER YOUNG Youth Group
LOVE GENERATION Bob Sinclar (derivative shit)
SO SICK Ne-Yo
PUMP IT Black Eyed Peas
GRILLZ Nelly featuring Paul Wall, Ali & Gipp
ALL I HEAR Kate Alexa (you're not very good you Australian girl)
GOODBYE MY LOVER James Blunt (ultimate in shit)
NASTY GIRL Notorious B.I.G.
THUNDER IN MY HEART AGAIN Meck Feat. Leo Sayer
GASOLINA Daddy Yankee
ANYTHING FOR YOU Lee Harding (my WORD you are unattractive)
LIKE YOU Bow Wow
JUST FEEL BETTER Santana (just unbelievably hideous)
THEY DON'T KNOW Savage
BIG CITY LIFE Mattafix
RUN IT! Chris Brown (you are too young to "run it", whatever that involves)
IF IT'S LOVIN' THAT YOU WANT Rihanna
OPPORTUNITY Pete Murray (Jamie Durie wannabe)
WASABI Lee Harding (my word you are ugly, what is wrong with you little girls?)
GET YOUR NUMBER Mariah Carey
WHEN I'M GONE Eminem
FAR AWAY Nickelback
PUT YOUR RECORDS ON Corinne Bailey Rae (just because the papers say you are good doesn't mean you are)
IS IT JUST ME? The Darkness
WAKE UP The Living End
SUNSHINE OF YOUR LOVE Cream Vs The Hoxtons
THE RIVER Live
ONE CROWDED HOUR Augie March (Augie. Imagine being called Augie.)
THERE IT GO (THE WHISTLE SONG) Juelz Santana
CONFESSIONS OF A BROKEN HEART (DAUGHTER TO FATHER) Lindsay Lohan
DON'T LISTEN TO THE RADIO The Vines
GET UP OUTTA THE DIRT Butterfingers
REAL SOON Snoop Dogg
I'M SPRUNG T-Pain

NOT QUITE AS SHIT

FLAUNT IT TV Rock (no comment)
BEEP The Pussycat Dolls Feat. Will.I.Am (I want to hear what's behind the beeps please!)
YOU RAISE ME UP Westlife (well at least it's pop)
STUPID GIRLS P!nk (not really very good, really)
TOUCH THE SKY Kanye West Feat. Lupe Fiasco (interesting)
L.O.V.E. Ashlee Simpson (no comment)
WALK AWAY Kelly Clarkson (too many good looking people in video clip, I don't agree)
LIFT Shannon Noll (much better after being made The Biggest Loser theme)

NOT REALLY VERY SHIT AT ALL

TOGETHER WE ARE ONE Delta Goodrem (heart-warming!)
WHEN IT ALL FALLS APART The Veronicas (is this Swedish written like the first two singles?)
FADED Kate DeAraugo (Kelly Clarkson-esque as Kate proclaims herself!)
WATCHING YOU Rogue Traders (I loved seeing Natalie on Thank God You're Here, she was so pretty)
SORRY Madonna (oh yes we know you're good)
NEVER SAY NEVER Vandalism (surprisingly saucy)
UGLY Sugababes
HUNG UP Madonna

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im-always-right.com said...

"When It All Falls Apart" was not Swedish penned, the girls took their hand at that one.

I am officially over "Flaunt It" now too.

Jack said...

What radio station do you listen to? Thats ALL shit! Triple J all the way :)

Oh, and there is no way that The Living End or The Darkness are worse than any of the "not very shit at all" category...